I am awakened to the belief that being "too busy" can be a way to keep you at a lower vibration. If you don't have time for anything anymore, are you really making time for the things that truly matter? When we believe and live a life of scrambling from one thing to the next thing, we are like a hamster spinning inside a wheel. Sure, he's going fast, but where is he really going? If you removed the hamster from that wheel, and he simply walked - taking a break here and there - he would actually get much farther faster.
Internally we can become addicted to being busy. We have to keep moving or else, we die? Or, we're not successful? Or, we will have too much time for idle thought? There are actually root reasons for staying busy and if you're one of these people, I encourage you to dig deeper. I'm not pointing fingers, since not too long ago I lived a life of being so busy I could barely breathe. I was exhausted, yet kept going even though I told myself I had to stop! I actually believed I was trying to stop, but yet I kept finding new ways to be busy. As I weaned off - I believe it's like a drug - I would find myself still looking for things and then lying to myself saying, "But, that won't take too much time! I can do it!" I then had to face the ugly truth and learn how to do things differently.
Some things I just had to let go of. Things that took too much of my time, drained my energy, and provided nothing (or barely anything) in return. At first, I fought it. "I can still do it. I'll just do it less. It doesn't really take that much of my time!" The funny thing is that the things you don't think take much time, once you remove them from your life - you see that they actually take up a whole lot more time than you could have ever imagined. It's like being blinded... you see what you want to see, while others are on the sidelines waiting and waiting and waiting...for just SOME time with you.
Why was I so busy? It was a mixture of things. (1) I enjoyed feeling like I was being successful in life - being remembered for something - not "wasting" my time here on Earth. (2) I didn't know what to do with idle time. I wanted to spend more time with my fiance', yet I would agree or sign up for something that would prevent that from happening. (3) It kept my brain active from having to think about the "tough" things in life or things that I really needed to do.
Sometimes we can keep ourselves from our own happiness. Did I feel like I didn't deserve it? Did I worry I would fail? When I dug deeper, I realized there was a lot hanging out inside of me blocking me from not only my true purpose, but my true happiness. The first step to changing was learning to say one word: "NO!" and truly desiring for my priorities to be the people and things that actually matter!
Stop agreeing to attend event event, do project after project, lose another weekend doing something that pulls you away from what matters. As I began this, my time started to open up and at first I didn't know what to do with it! Like I said earlier, I started to find new things. Amy (my fiance') had to push some tough love on me to help awaken me to the lies I was telling myself. "But, I can do this in my free time, and it won't impede on anything else," I'd say. Finally, after her being firm several times (and meaning it), I stopped.
At first, I felt a bit resentful. "Hey! It's my life... why can't I do this? I've always wanted to..." Then, the truth hit me. HARD. What am I really accomplishing? I was the hamster. Sure, I accomplished many things, but certainly not enough for the time and energy I was putting into it all - not to mention, the time I was away from what really mattered - the memories LOST. I had to start looking at everything I do and see what actually serves a greater purpose in my life.
These are 5 examples of how I narrowed things down:
1. Day job? Check. That is very important. I love my job and it helps me financially to keep a roof over my head and food on the table.
2. Acting? No. That was too much time and energy and also too much ego-focus of "self" for me personally.
3. Writing? Check. It is fulfilling and I only write in phases and it doesn't take time from my personal life.
4. Reiki, Angel Cards, my Spiritual Side? Check. This is super important for myself and I limit what services I provide to others. I keep a safe space and balance. It allows growth in my life.
5. Having an acting studio? No. It took way too much of my time and energy and I could not balance it along with the other things in my life.
I then told myself that I want my weekends to be free. I want Amy and I to have time to do things together, even if that involves staying home in bed and just talking about anything and everything. Quality, precious time that means more than anything else to me. With this extra time, I was able to start being a true PARTNER in the relationship. I have helped more around the house in the past 6 months than I had in 3 years. My main focus now is FAMILY. And now we're able to start adding to ours.
At the end of my life, I had to think about what I wanted it to look like. What did I want to look back on to remember? Did I spend my time living my best life with those I love, or did I spend it fulfilling my own needs and desires to the point of exhaustion.
Exhaustion. I sure was every bit of that word. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually EXHAUSTED. Now? I feel different. I'm relaxed, calm, and more patient with people and situations. I'm a lot less stressed and worried and I look forward to being with those I love. I'm able to actually make plans with friends and do things I hadn't done in years.
Am I less successful? Not in the slightest. Now, if I want to accomplish something, I think it through and ask myself what is it really worth?
Recently, I started something new that I had wanted to do for a couple of years. What did I do differently? I hired other people to do it. Now, I sit back, relax and watch that project being created while keeping my free time. Long ago I heard the words, "Work SMARTER, not HARDER" and I couldn't agree more. If I wasn't in a place to pay for that to be done, I wouldn't have chosen to do it. Why? Because when you FINALLY slow down and just STOP - you are changing your life in a way that you will not understand until you fully accept it.
It's not an easy task to wean off the "busy" drug, but it's worth it. You'll fight it. You'll try to add things back. I encourage you to stop and allow yourself to take a deep breath, relax, and just watch the world pass by without you running along with it. Jump out of that hamster wheel, and make REAL progress. Progress that matters.
With much love, light, and gratitude,
P.S. I laugh more now than I have in YEARS. :)
Tristan Star is a certified Usui Ryoho & Karuna Ki Reiki Master, Angel Oracle Card Reader, and Law of Attraction Life Coach. Since 2013, he has practiced intention and manifestation methods with significant results. Tristan is also the designer behind Arcadia Jewelry Art.